Tuesday December 22 2020.
My mom had two sisters, six and nine years older than her, so always was dismayed that her father's name (Cassin) disappeared once all the daughters married men and took their husband's last name.
I was born Tod Hebert, but when my dad disappeared from my life in my 20s I told my mom that if I ever had children I would give them the last name Cassin. When I met Michelle and it looked like we were serious, I told her that if we ever had kids they would be Cassins, and she was fine with that.
Then we got married and had two great daughters, and they both were given the Cassin last name. But then the complexities of 3 last names in the house, and schools always getting it wrong, I eventually changed my last name to Cassin as well. It was surprisingly easy. Just go down to the Social Security office in San Jose, fill out a name change form, give them 40 dollars, send it off to a newspaper, and 2 weeks later you get the form back with a judge's signature and you suddenly have your new name.
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I just sent off a group text to my 3 siblings and my 4 sort-of step siblings wishing my mom a happy birthday. Sort-of because they came into my family when my mom remarried when I was 18. I have only known them as adults.
So text sent out. See if anyone responds. My siblings and I have complicated relationships, as would any persons who have known each other 60 plus years. I think Scott is currently mad at me because I overstepped my "crazy uncle" role that I was supposed to play in front of his two sons. I feel bad about this because I sort of agreed to play the role in the first place, and only stepped out of it for a moment in conversation because the political discussion was veering toward crazy town, and I had to say something untoward. Or maybe a couple of things. In retrospect I should not have done this as I think it hurt Scott a bit, and that is the last thing I want to do, as he is one of the few people that has stuck by my side in what has been the most difficult and challenging days of my life, when I gave up everything I knew because Michelle wanted a divorce and wanted to keep the house, and wanted me to leave. I said yes to it all, thinking that we would still be friends as we always were, but she then she turned her back on me and and did her best to block me out of everything I had known.
Standard banality of a spurned husband, and an angry wife. Old story, told repeatedly over the generations. Wife gets mad, feels overrun, and blocks husband out of everything. Never thought it would happen to me because I always thought that Michelle and I would always be best friends, and nothing could change that. Boy was I wrong.
What can you do.
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